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Love is not such a big deal

Do you believe in Love?

Love is relative
If you ask me I’ll tell you from my experience
Can not survive on its own
Love needs time
Love needs People and things
Love needs a place
Love needs patience
Love needs hate
to exist

is an illusion
Love is blind
Love is made hence it can be broken in the same way
Love is a song that will one day stop
Even birds don’t sing all day and night
Love is a river that flows swiftly and beautifully until it dries up
Love is a union
A reunion
Love is breaking up and falling in the arms of another immediately
Love and Lust share something in common
The letter ‘L’
Nothing else

Love is accepting that you are not enough
Love is learning to put yourself first before thinking of others
Love is being grateful for your small winnings
Respecting each step and walking the deserted path
Hoping it leads to a finish line better than the start




Troubled Soul

I know I fail a lot
And I know I will never be good enough
I believe you can not save every bit of me
And I tend to make stupid mistakes
Sometimes am even scared of myself
I curse myself for being the opposite of who I want to be in my head
Am sorry but who I am right now is not even half of it

The horrors,
The insults thrown at us as kids stuck in us
When I lift my chin to look into the mirror
Two different species
My subconscious rases with my heartbeat
I think am turning into the opposite of who I want to be
Am turning into the person who made me write my 1st suicidal note

Needs are driving me endlessly crazy
And the more I grow the more needs
I wish to turn back the hands of time so that as a kid they’d hold me
Tight enough that I feel secure enough
I wish I had someone in my past who’d last till my death
One who’d always be there for me if need be
One who knows how I feel without asking
One who’d call me just to say ‘hey, life is hell but we’re in this together you are My G you know that”,

You see, Mistrust is the word that impulsively comes to mind every time I think I found someone whose Kind to me
I always have second thoughts because experience taught me that whoever is closest to you will easily be the one to kill you, you will not be prepared

I gave myself space to think but I had nothing in mind apart from regrets and self-hate
If it was possible to stay alone and survive I’d do it
Without second guessing
Without being a burden
But we all need people
And people need us
But then again, we fail people
And they fail to see it was not us, it was the demon inside of us, the Anxiety, ADHD, Maniac depression

God forgives but I don’t. That’s why am always gloomy and sad
And I don’t bear grudges I just chose to forget, it never happened
But then again memories live forever and the ones who hurt us die
The ones who treat us well die ahead and leave us right at the doorsteps of our enemies
Devour so they do to the fickle hopes we had left

And we change
We fail to believe in our strengths because the tests that life gave us were too hard for us and we failed
Maybe if my elder sister was still alive things would be different
or maybe not, who knows?
But I’d like to give it a try maybe she was my would-be soulmate who knows?

Maybe I make mistakes because it’s my way of crying out to the universe
Maybe I feel too much ashamed of myself that I choose to block friendships before they begin
Maybe I did not ask the right questions to my mom and dad as a child, it was the asking age
Now I know nothing in the age of answering

I feel like am dead and am now burning in hell
Satan is now my god and that’s why my life is as fucked up as it is
Like God did not understand why I did what I did that’s why he refused to mould me into a better man
I gave you all the rights even if I couldn’t I still don’t get why you like to let people suffer more than enough am tired of hearing about life balance and stuff I would vote against
I tried God, if you’re real you know am being sincere, No one is more truthful than one who has nothing to loose

This might be my last words or my first
This might be the end of a troubled soul or the beginning of something different
I’ve given it time to grow,
Am talking about love,
Seems people who possess it enjoy happiness
I bet It doesn’t grow inside a broken heart
The few times I’ve felt happy, Love was not on the menu
Love doesn’t run the world, if it does then I’ve been living in a stagnant world that only moves after i die
Where Power of Hate determines your success
And those who care don’t show it
lest they be branded as weak and fibble





They Lied about Love

Someone said you can not explain Love
They don’t know what it is so I’ll explain it

is a makeshift person
That is not there and is there
Far or near that one person can change a whole lot inside of you
Love is Faith that you believe in even when hope inside is dead
Love is fresh Lemon in hot tea
The smell of it and how it absorbs the bad taste on your tongue
Love is endless,
Love has a beginning and when you start loving you never stop
Love is a Dangerous password that is so simple that people hack into it altering your stories account
Love is a midnight call
When the phone rings in your dreams and you wake up to receive a call from nature
Love lives in a broken heart that yearns for mending
Love never lacks you just have to know where to find it Love is not lost just misplaced
Lave can be replaced
New love will never measure to the Old one
Young love grows Old but never forgets what it learnt from crawling, walking, running, and flying
Feeling weightless carried on a plane that took off before the pilot came in and you have no map no knowledge but you trust you will land safe and sound
Love is Music when staring at your own reflection
Love is the singing voice that calms down your nerves when tears leave you breathless
Love is a law that abides
Love has no justification
Love is applied force when things get hard in your life
Love is chemistry titration
Love is speaking without using words
Sexting with zero fear
Love is minding what goes on in your head when you only think of one person
Love is sitting next to a person and wishing the two of you turn into rocks
Love is rocky and heavy
Love is having a heavy heart that is a ticking timebomb
Love is a rifle bring on the war
Love is selling your own happiness for the sake of others
Love is buying time just to remain in the arms of the one you adore
Love is giving up on hate and letting in the fire so everlasting that its burns you with passion
Next time when we share a moment together,
Remember love’s existence.
Remember i know how to love how to care how to touch how to speak how to look at your face like i would die without your embrace
I know how to hold you
Close and grumpy from the back
I know how to tickle the sides of your neck
I know where to place it, even in the darkest and silent of the night
Where there is Love, Put my name on it.





Days of being happy,

Day one,

Choose to get up early from bed,
Go out and wait for something to happen to me,
I might meet old friends,
And share Old memories,
I might meet new ones,
We might just connect, begin new stages of life,
New problems,
New ways to cope.

I’d willingly turn up for birthday parties
Even if they’d remind me of how old am getting
Counting milestones from the rocky relationships and now my friends are getting married,
I was asked to do a piece for the newly weds
It was not easy,
It was not easy until i imagined myself in a traditional attire, walking down the isle holding a shield of courage and a ring,
Traditionally i would feel all nice about it
But i changed,
i am urban i left that place long time ago
I grew thick
I could not fit in,
I Changed my name, i changed my look,
I hide from people who knew me,
They are like sadness
Like i don’t want them but they must have me and i can’t change that

My Spirit
My Mind
My whole being
Wants to get drunk
Only on the days of the week that end with ‘y’

I believe in random people,
I believe in 2nd chances,
And redemption.
Am happy i experienced the Pain
And now, my mission is to protect my kids from it
And teach them how to read a Gut feelling
And follow your dreams,
Because no one taught me that,
I was taught about God
And Faith
Two things that have caused me most pain
I thought i payed a price to free myself
Only to find out that,
am deep in dept, and the depth is whats killing me,
I don’t own anything inside of me,
I am controled
I am a device
And i am broken,
I malfunction,
the owner gets new stuff on a daily basis
Its easy for me to get thrown out
I am,

Exercising muscle,
Drinking water,
Things i was not willing to do easily
Are now taking me to places i’ve never been before,
Places i never knew existed,
Places i would love to call mine
I never knew simple things matter the most,
Only when you have nothing to call yours,
You accept anything aslong as it gives a sense of belonging.
Begs the question,
Who am i?
I am not me, i am who you want me to be.

These are the days i chose to losen up all my shirt buttons
Spread my wings and dive into air
Its days like this that make us who we are
Its days like this that bring about the best in us
And when i say we, i don’t mean us
When i say we i mean them
Because at times i feel like i don’t belong anywhere

No Title.

have done alot of bad things in my lifetime
The Best of them all is
Believing in self

It is considered bad to beleive in you
When you are a dream chaser
When you are young
When you have opinions
But nobody cares

Allowing self
To make bad decisions
Because you want self to follow self path
Not the one made for self because someone else went through it and was successful

It is terrible to fail to conform to society norms
You will know the true meaning of solitudeness
Because the road you chose
is not crowded
Many artists traveling the road of loneliness will tell you how lonely it gets
Trust me, they will not explain
They will tell it as it is
Using Mystic Music

These choices
Are sad choices
Painful choices
Hurtful choices

When the heart and mind coincide
But outside powers colude against your inner strength
And hang you for dead
Leaving your spirit wailing

When you build a wall between yourself
And your blood family

When you want to change the world

When nobody listens to your heartbeat
But you keep on playing your music

When the urge to fight is vigorous
Same as the need to quit

Bad decisions
But with good intentions
And only you will understand this
Quit explaining
And do it
In the end
Life is a story of how we died
I want to die knowing that i reached my dreams
If i didn’t then atleast i gave a determined chase
One hell of a race, against all ods